The Top 15 Macho Ways to Express a Break-up - TopFive.com

15. opened up a can of industrial strength whoop-heart.

14. She keyed the hood on my Corvette of love.

13. She roadkilled my heart on the grille-work of disdain.

12.. Even my dual-range Sawzall 6527-21 couldn't cut through her carbon-steel heart.

11. When her personality had its last tune-up, whoever did it set her cShearburetor's bitch mixture waaaaay too rich.

10. I gave her three sets of 10 reps of affection curls. She gave me squat.

9. I tapped her love keg and just got foam.

8. Allegations that we were together for life were apparently "sexed up" by the British Defense Secretary.

7. The rust of rejection finally overcame the duct tape of desire.

6. She fried up a sizzlin' slab o' "see ya later."

5. I thought I'd retained possession of her love, but upon further review that call was overturned.

4. I've relocated from Hummerville to Bummertown.

3. She got me a front-row ticket to WWF Dumpamania: Emotional Smackdown.

2. Our love car Earnhardted.

and the Number 1 Macho Way to Express a Break-up...

1. She called me off the mound and brought in the battery-powered reliever.