Saturday, September 13, 2008

Are You Suicidal?

Now guys, I already know just how much you hate listening to those songs about love, which involves pain and bitterness, which ultimately ends up with, yes folks, SUICIDE. Now, not that I am actually one of those suicidal freaks out there. My older cousin (who is currently in a "suicidish" situation) showed me, or lets say, made me listen to this certain song. Entitled Gloomy Sunday, its a song notorious for its puzzling effect on its listeners.

"Gloomy Sunday" (from Hungarian "Szomorú vasárnap") is a song written in 1933 by Hungarian pianist and composer Rezső Seress, in which the singer mourns the untimely death of a lover and contemplates suicide.
Though recorded and performed by many singers, "Gloomy Sunday" is closely associated with Billie Holiday, who scored a hit version of the song in 1941. Due to unsubstantiated urban lgends about its inspiring hundreds of suicides, "Gloomy Sunday" was dubbed the "Hungarian suicide song" in the U.S. Seress did commit suicide in 1968, but most other rumors of the song being banned from radio, or sparking suicides, are unsubstantiated, and were partly propagated as a deliberate marketing campaign (Wikipedia)

The main buzz about this song is the fact that it supposedly spurred a series of suicide waves. Wherein even the composer Seres was one of them. Authorities disclosed today that Mr. Seres jumped from a window of his small apartment here last Sunday, shortly after his 69th birthday.

Well, you can listen to a version of this song. I am listening to it right now using Youtube *must love Youtube*. And honestly, aside from the oh-so-cliche title. There really is nothing to it. If we do remember it right, we heard this song (or a rip-off of it) in on of those old cartoon shows. So much for suicide.

Well, you be the judge. Try listening to it. And in a matter of days, we will know if the song really causes suicidal tendencies to heighten.

Thursday, September 11, 2008

All About Chocolate

Now, there was a point where people keep asking me why in hell was I sad. And bluntly saying so, I definitely had no idea. Then, somebody said. Try chocolates, makes you happier.
Now, chocolates. Hmm... century old sweet concoction that doesnt ever fail to amuse mortals. Dubbed as the food of the Gods. Now what really is in chocolate. Here's a list. Lets start counting.

1. Chocolate is one of the most popular foods around and is highly unlikely to ever go out of fashion.

2. The word 'Chocolate' comes from the Aztec word, 'cacahuatl' or ‘xocolatl’. This means 'bitter water'.

3. Chocolate is derived from Cocoa Beans. It was Cacao originally, but became Cocoa as a result of misspelling.

4. Cocoa Trees require warm, moist climates and are largely found in West Africa - Ghana, the Ivory Coast and Nigeria. The scientific term for the Cocoa Tree is 'Theobroma Cacao'. This is the Greek term for 'Food for the Gods'.

5. Cocoa Trees produce pods and each pod contains about 20 to 50 Cocoa Beans. There are different varieties of Cocoa Beans with different flavors, and, just like different grapes are used to make different wines, different Cocoa Beans are used to make different kinds of Chocolates. Cocoa Beans are fermented, dried, roasted, and ground before being used to produce chocolate.

6. The Mayans and Aztecs believed that the Cocoa Beans originated from Paradise and would bring wisdom and power to anyone consuming them.

7. The Aztecs mixed Chocolate with Chilies, Cornmeal, and Hallucinogenic Mushroom. It was a bitter brew!

8. The precious Cocoa Beans were used as a currency and as a unit of calculation in the Mayan and Aztec Cultures.

9. Emperor Montezuma of Mexico partook a Chocolate drink before entering his harem. This gave rise to the notion of Chocolate having aphrodisiac properties. The Italian adventurer Giacomo Casanova was another fellow who subscribed to this notion. There is some truth to the idea though, since Chocolate contains hundreds of chemicals including the feel-good stimulants - Caffeine, Theobromine, and Phenyethylamine.

10. However the amount of Caffeine in Chocolate is very little - about 5 to 10 milligrams of caffeine in one ounce of bittersweet chocolate, 5 milligrams in milk chocolate, and 10 milligrams in a six-ounce cup of cocoa. Compare this to 100-150 milligrams found in a cup of coffee.

11. Theobromine helps boost low blood-sugar levels and another chemical, Chromium, helps to control blood sugar.

12. Theobromine, however, is highly toxic to dogs, cats, and other household pets. It overstimulates their cardiac and nervous systems, and can cause instant death.

13. For humans though, Chocolate is a wonderful energy source. Napoleon supposedly carried along Chocolate on his military campaigns, and always ate it to restore energy. Nowadays Sports-persons are often given Chocolate energy bars after sporting activities to restore carbohydrates.

14. Even though Chocolate is high in fat, it does not appear to raise blood cholesterol.

15. Despite the popular, lingering myth, Chocolate does not cause acne. Acne is usually due to an improper diet or a hormone imbalance.

16. Also, contrary to another popular myth, Chocolates are not responsible for causing headaches. Headaches, again, have different reasons - stress, hunger, irregular sleep patterns, and hormone changes.

17. Allergies to chocolate are very uncommon.

17. Cocoa butter, which is the fat extract from roasted and crushed Cocoa Beans, is often used as a massage cream.

18. It is also used to make White, Caffeine-less Chocolate.

19. Cocoa Beans were first brought to Europe by the Spanish Conquistadors in 1528.

20. Chocolate soon became very popular and was taken as a sweet drink with sugar and vanilla.

21. Henri Nestle of Switzerland was the first to create Milk Chocolate by adding condensed milk to the mixture when making chocolate bars.

22. Rudolphe Lindt of Switzerland in 1879 was the first to develop a method to give Chocolate a smooth consistency.

23. Chocolate has over 500 flavor components. This is double the amount found in strawberry and vanilla.

24. Chocolate is a great economy booster. Annual world consumption of cocoa beans averages approximately 600,000 tons per year. Consumers worldwide spend more than $20 billion a year on Chocolate.

25. Chocolate syrup was used for blood in the famous shower scene in Alfred Hitchcock's movie, "Psycho". This scene, which is of 45 seconds, actually took 7 days to shoot.

26. Chocolate appears in literature - 'Charlie and the Chocolate Factory' by Roald Dahl, ‘Like Water for Chocolate' by Laura Esquivel, and 'Chocolat' by Joanne Harris.


Now that was way too much info. But sadly, nothing about chocolates and making me happy. Still skeptic. hmm... How bout this...

Chocolate can affect the brain by causing the release of certain neurotransmitters. Neurotransmitters are the molecules that transmit signals between neurons. The amounts of particular neurotransmitters we have at any given time can have a great impact on our mood. Happy neurotransmitters such as endorphins and other opiates can help to reduce stress and lead to feelings of euphoria. As connections between neurons, they are released from the pre-synaptic membrane and travel across the synaptic clef to react with receptors in the post-synaptic membrane. Receptors are specified to react with particular molecules which can trigger different responses in the connected neurons. The proper neurotransmitter can trigger certain emotions.

Now that was just the easy part. Well, chocolates may make you happy. As for me... SUGAR RUSH!

Source : http://serendip.brynmawr.edu/bb/neuro/neuro04/web1/kcoveleskie.html
http://www.buzzle.com/

Psssst! BOred?

If you are bored. Got nothing else to do. Loves listening to whining lovebirds. And basically in the mood to stick your nose on to someone else's life.

Try these sites:

http://www.shouldibreakupwithher.com/

http://www.shouldibreakupwithhim.com/

Let the inner Love DJ shine in you!

And the chance of reading the most hilarious, or the most heartbreaking story you've ever heard of is just a perk you might just enjoy.

5 Years After 9/11...

What If 9/11 Never Happened?
A counterhistory.

By John Heilemann
Published Aug 14, 2006



There are days in New York—surprisingly many of them, all things considered—when it’s almost possible to forget that we are living in an age of terror. And then there are days, like last Thursday with its headlines out of London, when that grim reality rises up and slaps us hard upside the head. When we’re reminded that there really are ideological-cum-religious fanatics intent on slaughtering us in large numbers. When we realize that these zealots aren’t merely crazy but determined and ingenious. When we’re forced to admit that we are, deep down, more scared than we ever let on.

It is almost five years since that fear was imposed on us and the age of terror began in earnest. From the moment the Twin Towers fell, 9/11 was seen as a watershed, a historical turning point of grand and irreversible proportions. With the acrid smoke still swirling above ground zero, the mantras repeated constantly were that 9/11 had “changed everything”—that “nothing would ever be the same.”

By now we see those mantras for what they were: natural, perhaps inevitable, exaggerations in the face of gargantuan trauma. So much about how we live our lives today remains the same as it ever was. And yet, at the same time, we all know (or think we know) that vast changes have in fact been spawned by 9/11—political, cultural, and sociological; intellectual, emotional, and psychological—in New York, throughout America, and around the world. The question is precisely what they are.

As a way of marking the fifth anniversary of 9/11, we’ve attempted to provide an answer—or, rather, many answers. But we’ve done so in a roundabout manner: by asking an assortment of big thinkers and public figures to address the question, What if 9/11 never happened? Now, let’s be clear, we’re well aware that the dangers of counterfactual speculation (If Bobby Kennedy had never been shot, then Nixon would never have been elected! So no Watergate! No Carter! No Reagan! Etc., etc., etc.) are almost as grave as those of unbridled futurism. But we also see the virtues of an approach that appeals both to left-brain analytics and right-brain imagination—and that, in the process, tends to uproot subterranean assumptions and challenge conventional wisdom.

The most glaring item in the latter category (at least on the left) is the canard that, if not for 9/11, the United States would not be a country at war. But as a number of the voices in the pages that follow argue convincingly, a clash between the West and the forces of jihadism—and, in particular, between America and Al Qaeda—was inevitable. Osama bin Laden’s campaign against the U.S. had been under way for nearly a decade; the only question was when, not whether, it would land upon these shores. As Andrew Sullivan suggests in his alternative-present blog, America should perhaps consider itself lucky that 9/11 took place when it did (thus giving the country an early warning of the battle ahead) and that it wasn’t worse. In a parallel history that avoids easy morals, he draws a path that leads us to an even more dire version of where we are today: in the midst of a long twilight struggle against a lethal enemy.

Without 9/11, would the London plot have been foiled? Without 9/11, would there have been an Iraq war? Without the Iraq war, would there have been a London plot?

Yet if a war against Islamofascism was unavoidable, the same can’t be said of the other war in which we’re currently, tragically, ensnared. Although many of the neocons in George W. Bush’s administration had long nurtured fantasies of invading Iraq, 9/11 was the sine qua non for the transformation of those dreams into policy. Without the specter of the gruesome atrocity at the World Trade Center, Bush would likely have been unable to induce either Tony Blair or Colin Powell to support him and his doctrine of preemption—and without the complicity of those two, his designs on Baghdad would almost certainly have been stalled in their tracks.

As with Lyndon Johnson and Vietnam, history is sure to designate Iraq as the defining feature of Bush’s presidency. But unlike with LBJ—who, if it weren’t for the conflict in Southeast Asia, would be remembered for civil rights and the Great Society—it’s difficult to conceive of what Bush’s legacy would be in the absence of 9/11 and its fallout. Rampant profligacy? Record deficits? Slavish fealty to the rich? Quite possibly, all three. Or perhaps, as historian Douglas Brinkley offers , Bush would have defined his administration by taking up the challenge presented by another disaster, Hurricane Katrina: “Rather than standing on the rubble at ground zero with his bullhorn,” Brinkley says, “Bush would best be known for standing on some waterlogged roof in the Ninth Ward.” Or perhaps he would have gone down to defeat in 2004, a 9/11-free election centering on domestic affairs, in which the Democratic candidate, therefore, wouldn’t have been John Kerry but John Edwards or Dick Gephardt—or Al Gore.

Erase 9/11 and the local political scene would be similarly transfigured. Rudy Giuliani’s bank account would be much diminished—and his presidential prospects would be nonexistent. Mark Green might be our mayor. (Would we all be smoking in bars again? Would Wall Street have been taxed into oblivion?) Ray Kelly would be on nobody’s short list of future occupants of Gracie Mansion. Joe Lieberman—a miserable, deluded putz who also happens to be a casualty of the newly virulent partisanship ushered in by 9/11—would probably be the Democratic nominee for Senate in Connecticut, as opposed to a poster boy for sour grapes.

Politics isn’t everything, of course. It’s often said that 9/11 brought to a close the great boom that unfurled in the second half of the nineties. Our memories tell us that, prior to that day, we lived in a kind of economic nirvana, incited by the efflorescence of Silicon Valley and propelled by the soaring stock market. But in truth, the boom (or, if you like, the bubble) was already over by the time the planes hit the towers. The Dow peaked in January 2000, and the NASDAQ began its epic crash two months later; by summer 2001, unemployment was rising and the overall economy had stalled. A recession was in the offing, 9/11 or no.

What wasn’t necessarily in the cards, however, was an end to the broader aura that the bubble economy fueled—the sense that, as the author Bruce Sterling put it at the time, we were living through a “new Belle Epoque.” Underlying that perception was a certain all-purpose optimism about technology, progress, and the future. Sans 9/11, maybe such sentiments would have proved durable. Maybe Google and the Web 2.0 generation would have been seen as the second phase of the high-tech long boom. But after 9/11, no one talks of long booms anymore. Belles Epoques may be capable of surviving recessions, but wars have a way of claiming national optimism among their many casualties.

What of New York City? Instinctively, we want to say that, had 9/11 never occurred, our home would be dramatically different. But how true is that, really? Certainly the downtown skyline would look as it had since 1972. Certainly we wouldn’t have to cope with occasional bag searches on the subway—or the indignity of de-shoeing at LaGuardia (and now, de-liquefying). And certainly some 3,000 of our neighbors would still blessedly be alive.

Yet, as a number of our contributors contend, the seminal trends that have shaped the city these past five years would have played out in any case. “The drop in crime, the rising income inequality, the continual changeover from a city of renters to a city of co-op owners—these have little to do with 9/11,” notes NYU sociologist Dalton Conley . Still others observe that many of the horrors predicted at the time never came to pass. The real-estate market didn’t collapse; instead, it soared. Applications to NYU didn’t plummet; instead, they went through the roof. The city didn’t become an American Belfast in the eyes of potential tourists; it became, improbably, more glamorous and seductive.

All of which is to say that New York would, no doubt, be a different place if 9/11 hadn’t happened. But would it be better? I’m not so sure. True, we’d all be a little less fearful—but then fear has its uses. As Bob Kerrey once said to me, “A certain amount of anxiety is good for you—it keeps you on your toes.”

Source : NyMag.com

Wednesday, September 10, 2008

Largest particle collider conducts successful test

By ALEXANDER G. HIGGINS, Associated Press Writer

GENEVA - Scientists have successfully fired protons in both directions around a 17-mile (27-kilometer) underground ring in what some call the next great step to understanding the universe.

The counterclockwise circuit inside the world's largest particle collider follows a test that sent a beam in the opposite direction Wednesday.

Scientists hope their experiments inside the 4 billion Swiss franc (US$3.8 billion) Large Hadron Collider will provide the power needed to smash the components of atoms together in attempts to learn about their structure.

The startup was eagerly awaited by physicists around the world who will conduct experiments at the collider.

Source : Yahoo! News

Tuesday, September 9, 2008

Saying Sayonara to my Old Contacts

Over a very, very vague sense of plain stupidity. I have deleted all of my contacts in my phone. Forgive my wrong choice between merge and overwrite. Well, that means I can start over again. I managed to soup up some others that I have remembered though. Well, that's that!

Monday, September 8, 2008

So How Do Foreigners See Davao City?

Everything posted here are from some f*cked up internet site... Enjoy!

And the names posted here are the forum users...

In a month in Davao, I never once felt nervous about getting robbed or mugged. Only time I have been nervous at all is Malate and once In Cebu on Colon street, late at night.Davao is such a huge city and all of the taxi drivers were telling me how safe the place is, expecially for foreighners because the mayor makes sure no one F--ks with us. There was no need to leave the city, have the girls come to you, and is only a few dollars for them to take the bus to meet you in Davao, and then you also have the home field advantage with them, no family keeping an eye on your.My friend the other day said she did see a dead body near the Ponce hotel area. apparently it was a hit from the the mayors so called death squad, who takes out the bad guys. If I was a drug dealer or other criminal, I think I would be sure to make my sales outside the city limits.

- Some lucky guy

Davao is the scariest place I've ever been.Have you seen the creatures that are in People's Park. Big creatures with big eyes.Walk down a street anywhere in Davao and you are likely to hear people shout at you. They often say, "Hey Joe", which is probably some code word ...who knows. They are well trained as they smile at you when they shout out these code words. My adivce is to exit the area immediately.People are often staring at you. Who knows what they have planned. Walk past a group of people, any people...and then, quickly look back. 80% of the time they are looking at you. Who knows what devious plots are going thru their heads. But what is terribly distressing is that even women are part of this treachery. Especially women. They pretend they aren't looking, but if you are quick, you will notice they are eying you up and down like some piece of meat they are thinking of skinning.In fact, you should especially be aware of the devious agent females who prowl various entertainment areas and sometimes the streets of Davao. They target foreign males. They may be so bold as to strike up a conversation, give you a phone number, or even offer to visit your hotel room. It's not clear what kind of drug or potion they use, but men sometimes never come out of their rooms after such visits.You have been warned.

- Mr.Paranoid

Sunday, September 7, 2008

Serenity - repost


the lawn is green

after the white winter scream

of what seems to be endless days

such cold and angry blasts

of snow, dust and hate


there are four trees

magnificient, towering and proud

yet lifeless, leafless, and old

of what seemed to be promises left

strongly withheld like the trees

is left withered and undone


there is a white picket fence about three feet tall

that separates the snow from the lawn

the before from the now

and a flagstone walk leading to the white door

opening away from the snow of yesterday

towards the spring of tomorrow

When Sweetie Started to Speak - repost

He named me Sweetie
I dont know why
But i like the name
He likes to cuddle me close
And hug me every time
He makes it sure that my snow white fur
Never gets dirty or dusty
We share the same bed every night
And every moment we share
Is worth the pages of time
But one night he came in sad
He didnt carry me when I held up my hand
I saw specks of water flow from his eyes
He wasnt happy I know
He took me and in an utter said
Dont leave me.. Pls dont..
It came like a total shock
It was the face i never knew
I wanted to wipe his tears away
And comfort him like a baby
But there’s nothing much you can do
When your just made out of stuffings and cloth
But what stunned me the most
Were the words he spoke
Because i never left him
And i never will

The Amoeba - repost

youre a disease i can never stop,

makes me cry every night

feels like butterflies in my stomach

and shakes my heart apart

though it hurts i still want it

like candy.. on an aching tooth..

youre my ameoba.. the one i nurse

get over on it

try to shake away the feeling..

and throw you out of my system,

only to get you on my lips… to suffer a kiss

and alas i die..i wish you’d be by my side

to be the one ill be sick with tonight..

BY: hector, TAZI, and ¼Achilles

The Yellow Moon



They say the yellow moon
Sets you in an awry mood
I say it dances
to the beat of the Gods drums and trumpets
Waltzing… to the tune of one’s beating heart
And suddenly…
It all stops…
as the beating skips its tune…
the yellow moon returns
to its heavenly throne…


--------

Si Juan nimata ug sayo. Ni panaog sa payag nga gubaon aron manilhig ug sayo. "Juan! asa man ka? Juan? mata na ka?" dungog ang syagit sa iyahang mama sa pikas balay. "Naa ko dri ma! nanilhig sa may tangkal sa baboy". "Pagdali, pagpalit ug pandesal sa kanto! kay basig ma mata ni imung papa nga walay pagkaon mag wild napud ni".
Buntag sayo napud ni uli si papa. Hubog, suko, ug way kwarta. Kauban napud niya iyahang mga kaubang stambay sa tindahan. Si Amay nga pamilyadong walay pulos, si Dodong nga drayber ug traysikel. Si nong Boy nga sabungero. Unsa napud kaha ilang gi sturyahan? Kung dili ang gobyerno, gi sturyahan napud siguro nila ang pagkamatay ni Toto. Si Toto tong adik sa amua. Gipatay, DDS daw. Vigilante. Mga gago, dli daw kabalo mu respeto sa balaud. Walay respeto sa mga sibilyan. Apan sa ilang sturya nga gilamoy sa kahubog ug naglutaw sa Tanduay on the rocks. Tanang bagay walay lusot. Tanan gago, tanan mali.
Nisaka si Juan sa ilahang payag nga gamay. Nag hinay-hinay aron dli matamakan ang iyahang mga igsoon nga nangatulog sa salog. "Mang, ambi ang kwarta be, aron mka palit dayon ko kay para pag mata ani nilang Jessa maka kaon dayon sila.
Sila Jessa, ang mga igsoon ni Juan. Mga babae , nag edad ug dise-sais ug kinse. Si Jessa, ang kinamaguwangan, naghunong ug skwela, nagtrabaho gamit ang pangalan sa laing tao. Si Len-Len, ang bunso, wala na nag handom maka sulod pa ug hayskul, nag tabang na lang sa iyahang mama manlaba aron maka kwarta.
"Tagpila gani nang pandesal nak?" Nangutana iyahang mama samtang gina pangita ang iyahang pitakang gamay. "Palit lang gud ta ug bale beinte ma, pwede na man siguro na" Nagpadayon ug pangita ang iyahang mama, hangtud sa iyaha nang na isip nga nawala na jud ang iyahang pitaka. "Gikuha usab sa inyong papa ang atoang kwarta"
Ang papa ni Juan, baldado. Dili ang panglawas, kun dili ang iyahang utok. Pirmi hubog. Pirmi suko. Kung dili sila kulatahon ma igsoon, ang ilahang mama ang diskitahan. Para kay Juan, kng naay tao nga dapat patyon sa mga vigilante, dli si Toto, Kay si Toto dli mangulata. Dili pirmi suko,dli pirmi hubog, high lang.
Nagdali si Juan paadto sa kanto aron mupalit ug pandesal. Na agian niya ang balay ni Amay, ug nadunggan ang away nila sa iyahang asawa. Walay pagkaon. Pirmi na lang. Walay ma uli sa sweldo. Naay sakit ang anak. Walay pampalit ug tambal. Kng ma tigbak pud ang anak. Walay pampa lubong. Double dead. Sa unahan pud nag tagbo si nong Boy. "Hoy Juan! ingna imung papa nga bayaran ko niya sa amoang pustahan kagabii ha?" "Unsa diay inyong gipustahan nong?" "Nag pusta mi kung kinsa ang madaog sa basketball gabii, amaw pud na imung papa, nisukol pusta sa dehado. Mura pud ug di kabalo mag sabong" Masimhot pa ni Juan ang baho sa Tanduay sa baba ni nong Boy. Murag baba sa minatay nga nabuhi.
Nipadayon si Juan sa paglakaw paadto sa kanto. Gi sikop sa kamot ang beinte nga hinatag sa iyahang mama. Tinago tago nga beinte. Inipit sa saninaan sa iyahang mama. Salamat na lang nga wala nakit-an sa iyahang baliko nga amahan. Kay sigurado, maski piso, dli ma respeto.
"Te, pandesal daw te. bale beinte" Dala ang supot nga naay pandesal, nidagan si Juan pauli. Nagbantay sa pandol. Nagdali. Walay gisayang nga oras. Apan sa pagdali ni Juan wala niya napansin ang paspas nga pagpadagan ni Dodong. Sa hapit nila pag bangga, nalabay ang tinapay. Patay...
"Sori jud dong, wala man gud ka nag tan-aw! Ok lang ka? walay naga sakit?" "Ok ra ko nong" Apan sa utok ni Juan, ang pangit nga larawan sa iyahang papa nga naga wild ang nigawas. Ang sakit sa pagpangulata. "Mulakaw na ko nong, naghulat si papa" Wala nay mapunit si Juan sa mga pandesal nga nangahulog. Apan ni uli gihapon kini. Sa layo pa lang nakita na niya nga daghan ang tao sa ilahang payag. Mga silingan, pulis, ug daghan pang silingan. Naga sturya, dili masabtan sa kadaghan.
"Pamilya Gihurot sa Papa nga Nag Wild Kay Walay Pandesal" Mao ang headline sa tabloid sa kanto... Murag nagalutaw sa Tanduay on the rocks... Gago... Gago jud...

The Top 15 Macho Ways to Express a Break-up - TopFive.com

15. opened up a can of industrial strength whoop-heart.

14. She keyed the hood on my Corvette of love.

13. She roadkilled my heart on the grille-work of disdain.

12.. Even my dual-range Sawzall 6527-21 couldn't cut through her carbon-steel heart.

11. When her personality had its last tune-up, whoever did it set her cShearburetor's bitch mixture waaaaay too rich.

10. I gave her three sets of 10 reps of affection curls. She gave me squat.

9. I tapped her love keg and just got foam.

8. Allegations that we were together for life were apparently "sexed up" by the British Defense Secretary.

7. The rust of rejection finally overcame the duct tape of desire.

6. She fried up a sizzlin' slab o' "see ya later."

5. I thought I'd retained possession of her love, but upon further review that call was overturned.

4. I've relocated from Hummerville to Bummertown.

3. She got me a front-row ticket to WWF Dumpamania: Emotional Smackdown.

2. Our love car Earnhardted.

and the Number 1 Macho Way to Express a Break-up...

1. She called me off the mound and brought in the battery-powered reliever.

So What's the Oddest Book Title of the Past 30 Years?

LONDON - "Greek Rural Postmen and Their Cancellation Numbers" benefited from a late surge in public support to win the title of oddest book title of the past 30 years, The Bookseller magazine said Friday.

The book — a comprehensive record of Greek postal routes by Derek Willan — grabbed 13 percent of the 1,000 international public votes cast to chose the oddest title from the winners of the annual competition that began in 1978.

It beat "People Who Don't Know They're Dead" and "How To Avoid Huge Ships" into second and third places with 11 and 10 percent respectively.

"The posties pulled off a real shock here. The pre-tournament favorite was the prize's first ever recipient — 'Proceedings of the Second International Workshop on Nude Mice,'" said Horace Bent, custodian of the annual Diagram Prize.

"Right from the off, it was Gary Leon Hill's "People Who Don't Know They're Dead" that set the pace. It topped the polls for over three weeks," he added.

Another early favorite "How To Bombproof Your Horse" also failed to feature in the final count.
The prize was dreamed up initially at the 1978 Frankfurt Book Fair as a way of avoiding boredom. It has since become an annual star. This year's winner was "If You Want Closure in Your Relationship, Start With Your Legs.

Source: msnbc.com

The Top 17 Bad Internet Pickup Lines from TopFive.com


17. "I CAN HAS DA NASTY WIT U?"


16. "Anonymity makes me even more handsome."


15. "Your *dot* has me anything but calm."


14. "Do you swear under penalty of perjury that you are neither employed in law enforcement nor by NBC?"


13. "Why don't you come down to my basement apartment in my mom's house and see me sometime?"


12. "I dunno. Do u *want* me 2 b 16?"


11. "I'm 13, really cute, and certainly not an undercover agent of any sort."


10. "i wud luv 2 get u ROF, even if u don't L."


9."In cyberspace, no one can hear me scream your name."


8."I've fully rebooted from my last relationship."


7."Hey, my wife's going to be at some convention, any chance you could hitch a ride to Chappaqua next week?"


6."If I said you had a beautiful port replicator, would you hold it against your camera?"


5."My AIM says IM the one for you."


4."My name is Misty, and I speak Klingon."


3."I had to drop out of college because the $250,000,000 software company I started in my dorm room was taking up too much of my time. Can I buy you a PC?"


2."Do u like me? Text '1' for 'Yes,' '2' for 'No.'"


and the Number 1 Bad Internet Pickup Line...


1."Hey wait, are you an FBI agent? Because that's even hotter."

Qoute of the Day

Many believe that sarcasm is the lowestform of wit. Yeah, like *that's* true.

-Rob Simpson